I’m gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saturday. Yeah, thanks.
I’m as motivated as a sloth on a Monday morning.
Work is just like a bad dream you can’t wake up from.
I don’t have a case of the Mondays, I have a case of the forever Mondays.
Coffee and deadlines make the world go round.
I’m not lazy, I prefer to conserve energy.
I’m not procrastinating, I’m strategically delaying.
Office politics is like a game of chess, except everyone is playing dirty.
I excel at Excel, but fail at life.
My boss said I need to be more productive, so I bought a louder keyboard.
If you can’t beat the system, at least find a way to outsmart it.
Teamwork makes the dreamwork, but it also multiplies the paperwork.
Dress for success? More like dress for stress.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope for a donut break.
I have a love-hate relationship with my cubicle. Mostly hate.
I tried to think outside the box, but I got stuck in traffic.
Life is like a spreadsheet, full of formulas you don’t understand.
I may be stuck in this office, but my mind is always on vacation.
Drowning in paperwork should be an Olympic sport.
My job description should include ‘professional problem solver’ and ‘master of procrastination.’
If I had a dollar for every time I had to attend a pointless meeting, I could retire early.
My office is haunted by the ghosts of unfinished projects.
I don’t need a corner office, I just need a quiet corner to take a nap.
I’m not anti-social, I’m just pro-keeping my sanity.
I wish my paycheck matched the amount of coffee I consume.
I believe in equal opportunities for being late as I do for being successful.
The only promotion I’m interested in is to the snack bar manager.
Work-life balance? Ha, I laugh in the face of work.
If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.
Sorry I’m late, but the snooze button and I are in a committed relationship.
I didn’t choose the cubicle life, the cubicle life chose me.
My office chair is my throne, and my computer is my loyal subject.
Do not disturb, unless you have snacks.
I don’t need a vacation, I need a teleportation device.
If brainstorming was an Olympic sport, my team would win gold in overthinking.
I’m not a superhero, but I can fix any printer jam in record time.
Success is just a fancy word for surviving the office hierarchy.
If being a multitasker was a talent, I’d be a prodigy.
The only thing that’s consistent in this office is the inconsistency of the Wi-Fi.
Out of sight, out of mind. Office supplies, I’m looking at you.
My filing system is an organized mess, just like my thoughts.
In desperate times, I turn to my secret weapon – the office gossip.
I don’t need a motivational poster, I need a raise.
The office fridge is like a social experiment on food theft.
The office is where dreams and creativity go to die… until the weekend.
I’m gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saturday. Yeah, thanks.
I’m as motivated as a sloth on a Monday morning.
Work is just like a bad dream you can’t wake up from.
I don’t have a case of the Mondays, I have a case of the forever Mondays.
Coffee and deadlines make the world go round.
I’m not lazy, I prefer to conserve energy.
I’m not procrastinating, I’m strategically delaying.
Office politics is like a game of chess, except everyone is playing dirty.
I excel at Excel, but fail at life.
My boss said I need to be more productive, so I bought a louder keyboard.
If you can’t beat the system, at least find a way to outsmart it.
Teamwork makes the dreamwork, but it also multiplies the paperwork.
Dress for success? More like dress for stress.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope for a donut break.
I have a love-hate relationship with my cubicle. Mostly hate.
I tried to think outside the box, but I got stuck in traffic.
Life is like a spreadsheet, full of formulas you don’t understand.
I may be stuck in this office, but my mind is always on vacation.
Drowning in paperwork should be an Olympic sport.
My job description should include ‘professional problem solver’ and ‘master of procrastination.’
If I had a dollar for every time I had to attend a pointless meeting, I could retire early.
My office is haunted by the ghosts of unfinished projects.
I don’t need a corner office, I just need a quiet corner to take a nap.
I’m not anti-social, I’m just pro-keeping my sanity.
I wish my paycheck matched the amount of coffee I consume.
I believe in equal opportunities for being late as I do for being successful.
The only promotion I’m interested in is to the snack bar manager.
Work-life balance? Ha, I laugh in the face of work.
If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.
Sorry I’m late, but the snooze button and I are in a committed relationship.
I didn’t choose the cubicle life, the cubicle life chose me.
My office chair is my throne, and my computer is my loyal subject.
Do not disturb, unless you have snacks.
I don’t need a vacation, I need a teleportation device.
If brainstorming was an Olympic sport, my team would win gold in overthinking.
I’m not a superhero, but I can fix any printer jam in record time.
Success is just a fancy word for surviving the office hierarchy.
If being a multitasker was a talent, I’d be a prodigy.
The only thing that’s consistent in this office is the inconsistency of the Wi-Fi.
Out of sight, out of mind. Office supplies, I’m looking at you.
My filing system is an organized mess, just like my thoughts.
In desperate times, I turn to my secret weapon – the office gossip.
I don’t need a motivational poster, I need a raise.
The office fridge is like a social experiment on food theft.
The office is where dreams and creativity go to die… until the weekend.
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