I’ve heard it both ways.
Don’t be exactly half of an eleven-pound Black Forest ham.
You know that’s right.
Who lives here, the Boringtons?
When you’re making a face, the face isn’t making you.
I can’t help it if I have a heavy flow and a wide-set mind.
You can’t handle my midriff.
You smell like delicious maple syrup and the sun.
I believe in a thing called glasnost.
If you ain’t first, you’re last.
I am an incorrigible rogue.
I’ve been schooled in the ancient arts of deflection and denial.
I’m not just a pretty face, I also have a masters degree in fanciness.
We are the yin and yang, the butter and jelly, the mayo and cardboard.
I see a pattern, I see a squirrel.
I’d rather shower with a bear.
The bigger the hair, the closer to god.
I’m allergic to stupidity.
I’m not inclined to rescind my love of the printed word.
I would rather teach a cat to bark.
I don’t bruise like a summer fruit!
I’m not just certain, I’m Wikipedia certain.
I’m the head detective and the assistant head detective.
Shawn, don’t be the second time ever I saw your face.
You heard about Pluto? That’s messed up.
I’ve heard it both ways.
You know that’s right.
I would rather shower with a bear.
Don’t be an incorrigible Eskimo pie with a caramel ribbon.
We solve crimes, I blog about it, and he forgets it.
Gus, don’t be a gooey chocolate chip cookie.
I can?t do it under pressure. I need complete silence, a bonsai tree, an oscillating fan.
Gus, don’t be the last of the famous international playboys.
You know I’m a sympathetic crier, Shawn.
My body craves buttery goodness.
Are you a fan of delicious flavor?
It’s a player?s move, Gus, a player?s move.
My pilot?s license? Out back in the Cessna. Remember, I took lessons.
You must be out of your damn minds!
Wait for iiiiiiiiit.
Suck it.
Gus, don’t be the third Thompson Twin with a solo saxophone gig.
I?m proud of you, Shawn, and a little bit gassy.
I can’t believe I’m blanking on his name, it?s like a weird mix of Zach and Cody.
I think my spirit animal is a post-impact rooster.
I’m not a genius; I just pay attention.
If you’re not confused, you’re not paying attention.
Psych teaches you to think better, not make you feel better.
Psychoanalyze yourself, before you make judgments about others.
I hear voices… and they don’t like you.
I use sarcasm instead of punching you in the face.
An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps anyone away.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Life isn?t a matter of milestones, but of moments.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious issues.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
There’s no success like failure.
The truth hurts, but lies are worse.
I didn’t fail, I just found 1000 ways that won’t work.
Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn’t listening anyway.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
I don?t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
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