Arrested Development Quotes: The Funniest and Most Memorable Lines from the Beloved TV Show

There’s always money in the banana stand. – George Bluth Sr.

I’ve made a huge mistake. – Gob Bluth

I’m afraid I just blue myself. – Tobias Fünke

I’m the guy that does his job. You must be the other guy. – Michael Bluth

I just want to be pure. – George Michael Bluth

I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man! – Lucille Bluth

No touching! – Buster Bluth

I’m a monster! – Lucille Bluth

I’ve got the worst cramp. – Gob Bluth

I can’t do anything I used to do. Except remember things that I don’t want to. – George Bluth Sr.

I’m gonna build a house with all of these bricks! – Tobias Fünke

I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will. – Gob Bluth

There it is, the hottest ham in town! – George Bluth Sr.

I’m Oscar, and this is somebody’s trunk. – Oscar Bluth

This isn’t my trick shoulder, it’s my parents! I dislocated it giving myself a sponge bath. – Buster Bluth

Army had half a dozen guys on a tear… MISSION: UNACHIEVABLE. – Gob Bluth

I need a tea to calm down. – Lucille Austero

I’ve shown my arts… and now I just want to show my heart. – Anonymous exhibitionist

Sometimes you have to have a lot of moxie to be a queen bee. But you can’t have too much moxie, or else you’ll get stung. – Larry Middleman

My wife is a crazy slut! – George Bluth Sr.

You’re going to jail, dad. – Michael Bluth

I’m afraid I just blue myself in front of the entire company… again. – Gob Bluth

He’s a chicken. Plus, he’s a coward. Plus, he’s a chicken. – Franklin

You know, I don’t think that I could ever go out with a guy that wasn’t part seal. – Lucille Austero

That’s what happens when you leave your charger down here, someone might take it! – Lindsay Bluth Fünke

The good news is you’re not crazy. The bad news is your brother might be. – Dr. Fishman

I am Michael, and I am part alcohol. – Michael Bluth

You’re like a cockroach. You will outlive all of us. – Lindsay Bluth Fünke

She’s a bigger, stronger girl, with a stronger appetite. – Maeby Fünke

Look, dork. I don’t know what your issue is, but I’m just trying to buy a snake, all right? – Steve Holt

I’m a gentleman, and I’m not used to such things as seatbelts and doors that are locked. – Dr. Tobias Fünke

This is the best meal of my prison sentence. Thank you, Jesus. – George Bluth Sr.

A never-nude is a person who cannot be nude, under any circumstances. Why? Well, let’s just say it’s a psychological problem that derives from his lack of… a brother. – Dr. Tobias Fünke

Everyone’s laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster. – Lindsay Bluth Fünke

I’m the best-worst thing that ever happened to you. – George Michael Bluth

The gravy train has left Biscuitville. – Gob Bluth

You’re a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent. – Lucille Bluth

I’ve been covenantal with you, right? – Lucille Austero

You know, I take things out of context all the time. I once thought the color blue was mildly arousing. – George Bluth Sr.

I’ve made a huge tiny mistake. – Gob Bluth

You know, I never wanted to come to prison. – George Bluth Sr.

Who’s Emile Zola? – George Michael Bluth

I know what an erection feels like, Michael. It feels like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. – Tobias Fünke

Unhook the segway. I’m going home. – Gob Bluth

I don’t care for the taste of alcohol. Or smell. Or how it makes me feel. Or about drinking it any different way other than being alone in my basement. – George Bluth Sr.

I’m a pacifist. But if you don’t get out of my way, I will kick your nuts up into your head. – George Michael Bluth

Oh Lucille, you’re the best audience I’ve ever had. – Lucille Austero

Why is everything so expensive? Is this what movie tickets cost now?! – George Michael Bluth

I just blue myself, and I groped people! – Gob Bluth

We’re all just, like, one big family. And like most families, and TV shows, and movies, and some ice cream places, we’re also just practically incestuous. – Anonymous Bluth family member