Alcoholic quotes

I drink to make other people more interesting.

In wine, there is truth… and sometimes a hangover.

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.

I’m not an alcoholic, I just enjoy living in a merry-go-round.

Alcohol is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems.

I’m not addicted to alcohol, I just have a love affair with it.

I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a thirst-quenching solution.

I only drink on days that end with the letter ‘y’.

Alcohol: because no good story ever started with someone eating a salad.

Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.

I don’t need a therapist, I just need a bottle of wine.

Pubs are the adult version of a timeout.

I don’t need a glass, I need a bottle.

I’ll stop drinking when I find a bigger and better addiction.

Wine a little, laugh a lot.

I’m not an alcoholic, I’m just practicing mixology.

Drinking is not a hobby, it’s just a really good time.

I don’t trust people who don’t drink. It’s like they’re hiding something.

Beer: because you can’t solve all your problems, but it’s worth a shot.

Alcohol is the liquid illusion that makes everything look better.

I’m not drunk, I’m just adventurously sober.

Life is too short to drink bad wine.

A hangover is just your body reminding you that you had a great night.

I don’t need therapy, I just need another cocktail.

Alcohol: because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad.

I’m not a party animal, I’m a party dinosaur.

I don’t need a rum diary, I need a rum calendar.

Alcohol means I don’t remember yesterday’s problems.

Wine is my spirit animal.

I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by life.

When life gives you lemons, just add vodka.

Alcohol is the answer. What was the question?

Vodka: because adulting is hard.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

I never drink alcohol, unless it’s prozac in my martini.

Work hard, drink harder.

Life is too short to drink cheap whiskey.

I don’t need a beer helmet, I just need bigger hands.

I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a professional drinker.

Cocktails: because no great story ever started with someone eating a kale smoothie.

I don’t remember the question, but I’m pretty sure Wine is the answer.

I’m not drunk, I’m alcohol-ly challenged.

Alcohol: because no good story starts with someone eating a bowl of kale.

I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a connoisseur of life’s little pleasures.

I didn’t choose the wine life, the wine life chose me.

I don’t need a beer belly, I need a drinking muscle.

Coffee keeps me going until it’s acceptable to drink alcohol.

Rum: because even pirates need a break from plundering.

I don’t need a beer when I have a glass.

Alcohol: sometimes it’s the only thing that gets me.