40 Funny Good Morning Quotes

I don’t need an inspirational quote in the morning, I need a double shot of espresso.

Coffee: because adulting is hard.

I woke up like this. Tired.

Rise and shine! And then give me coffee.

Good morning! Excuse me while I sip my way to world domination.

If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where I can return Monday.

I’m not a morning person, but I am a coffee person.

Roses are red, violets are blue, oh look, a squirrel!

May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.

Good morning! May your coffee be hot and your eyeliner be even.

I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.

I don’t have the energy to pretend to look busy this morning.

Good morning! Let the stress begin.

Waking up early is for the birds. And I’m not a bird.

I can’t adult today, please don’t make me.

Wake up and smell the coffee. Or just wake up, I guess.

Good morning! I see the assassins have failed.

Today’s forecast: 99% chance of coffee.

I’m not a morning person, but I’ll make an exception for pancakes.

I need coffee to survive the morning, and patience to survive the day.

If life gives you lemons, throw them back and ask for coffee.

May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.

Good morning! Let’s conquer the world one cup of coffee at a time.

I’m not a morning person, but I’m a coffee connoisseur.

I don’t need the sun to shine, I just need coffee.

I like my coffee like I like my mornings: dark and bitter.

Good morning! Time to turn on the sass and kick ass.

I’m not a morning person, but I’m always up for a challenge.

Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. And by coffee, I mean five cups.

I can’t adult today. Can I be a dinosaur instead?

Good morning! Time to put on your superhero cape and conquer the day.

I’m not a morning person, but I’m an expert at hitting the snooze button.

May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short. And may your coworker not talk to you until after lunch.

Mornings: when coffee and sarcasm are the only things keeping me alive.

I’m not a morning person, but I am a strong believer in the power of caffeine.

Good morning! Let’s start the day with a smile and end it with a nap.

I’m not a morning person, but I’m always down for breakfast food.

May your coffee be strong and your patience be stronger.

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

I’m not a morning person, but I’m a firm believer in the healing powers of sleep.