Quotes for every day

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. – Michael Scott Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t

My job is so funny, I laugh all the way to the office! Work is so funny, I could write

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a yacht big enough to sail right up to it. I asked

I asked the librarian if she had a book on paranoia, she leaned in close and whispered, ‘They’re right behind

Marriage is like a deck of cards – you need a heart to love, a diamond to marry, a club

Love is grand, but chocolate is even sweeter! I’m single and ready to mingle this Valentine’s Day! They say love

New Year’s resolutions are just like babies: fun to make but extremely difficult to maintain. My New Year’s resolution is

Who needs a Christmas tree when you can just decorate a pile of laundry? Christmas cheer: the only time of

I’m dreaming of a beach vacation, where the only worry is how many shades of suntan lotion to bring. Holidays

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet! The only workout I’ll be doing this holiday is lifting a

I’m so scared of Halloween, I’m dressing up as a normal person. Halloween is the one night a year when

One Christmas I got a sweater from my grandma that I wanted to re-gift. It’s still making its way around

I may not be able to lift heavy weights, but I can lift your spirits with my hilarious gym stories!

El éxito no es la clave de la felicidad, la felicidad es la clave del éxito. – Albert Schweitzer La

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. – Elbert Hubbard The only way

Life is too short to be taken seriously, so laugh and enjoy the ride! Don’t cry because it’s over, laugh

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. – Thomas Jefferson Work hard, nap

I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life. I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving

High school: where weirdness is celebrated and normalcy is frowned upon. High school is like a zoo, and we’re all

Love is a lot like a puzzle – you’re always missing a piece, but somehow it still works. I love