Funny Quotes

Never ignore a coincidence. Unless you are busy, in which case, always ignore a coincidence.

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

A good neighbour is one that shares their Wi-Fi password

Ladies, you're not some cheap chicken value meal for every man to drive through. If he wants legs, breasts and thighs, send him to Popeyes.

When life gives you lemons, make sure you know whose eyes you need to squeeze them in.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

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